Taking Sides

Taking Sides

I recall the summer of 1995.  It was during a time of major transition when I felt that my time living in Washington D.C. was coming to an end, and I was compelled to return to my hometown of Buffalo, NY.  It was a painful thought as the many years I lived in the DMV (D.C, Maryland, and Virginia area) I had come to learn more about myself than I had learned growing up in Buffalo, NY.  I realized that I had a purpose in life.  While living in the DMV, I was recognized and encouraged toward the potential in me that helped to define me and informed my life’s path and career to the current day. 

That summer in 1995 was life changing and pivotal moment for me as a young Black woman growing up in the United States.  It was painful, and it appeared that every aspect of my being was examined through the topic of race, and it included a grueling process of recognizing my own racial biases. 

I didn’t feel like I had a problem in need of self-reflection and self-examination.  My beliefs were normal for a Black woman growing up in America.  I had learned to take the side of Black people, no matter the situation or circumstance, in the process of daily life interacting with others of a different race.  It’s what we did because we were exploited and scapegoated since the day we arrived on these lands as the enslaved, and our society had appeared to give license to people groups, past and present to do us harm.  We were forced to take sides and protect one another against every people group among us.  We did this in our homes among ourselves, through conversations about our daily and life experiences.  We did it in public amongst ourselves while engaged in various systems, whether school, work, church, shopping.  In public, we gave one another “the nod” to say, “I see you, and I got your back.”  Occurrences of racism and unfairness toward us often involved a “shaking of the head,” at the injustices we faced with impunity.  No matter where we were in social systems, we were placed on the defense and forced to respond in some way to mistreatments and abuses that often-caused despair.   We weren’t the perpetrators, yet we were forced to respond in some way, when these atrocities occurred.  We voted as Democrats, and we entertained and interacted with those who looked like us.  When any of us had a bad experience or encounter with one of a different race, we took the side of the Black person, whether they were right, or whether they were wrong. 

But that summer in 1995 changed for me.  It was a painful time and I honestly felt like I wouldn’t survive it.  I didn’t feel like I would survive that process as it questioned the very person I was.  I felt like I had been living a lie.  It was unbearable at most times, but I knew that my perspectives and beliefs were changing for reasons more powerful and significant than me.  Bigger than me.  Outside of me.  Despite me.  My identity appeared to be a farce and I no longer knew who I was.  I was confused.  My beliefs about race were being questioned on the inside of me.  It was a battle that I could not explain.  That inner voice challenged me and told me I was wrong.   I felt as if I were a child learning about life and others again for the first time.  Every hidden perception of myself that had been embedded for at least two decades was under the proverbial surgical knife.  God was dealing with my heart, and He was digging deep.  I became like a blank slate, empty and teachable.  I was getting a fresh new download of reality as the person of The Faith as I had come to identify myself.

It appeared as if God reached out His hand from heaven and uprooted every painful experience, I had ever dealt with being Black in America. How I responded or reacted to them.  How seeds that had been sown were bearing fruit.  That, which was suppressed came to life.  I could hear the sounds, smell the scents, and seemingly touch those memories as if I were reliving them again. The realities of how my actions, attitudes and perceptions were informed by those experiences.  I had to deal with it, walk through it, recall the pain, and process it.  Experience healing and freedom from it, as in the end, it was a blessing as I didn’t realize the impact those experiences had on me, but God was doing a work in me.  I was learning the error of taking sides just because.  I was learning to be honest and transparent, weighing matters in truth and in fact.  My identity, character, and integrity in Him was at stake.  I couldn’t walk out this life as a person of The Faith with such dishonesty and bias in my heart anymore, influencing my decisions, actions, and attitudes as they had in the past.  I had come to a purpose and a crossroad, and it would reveal, my Identity in Christ.

That summer in 1995 is embedded in the memories of many of us.  It was during the O.J. Simson trial.  O.J. Simpson was a cultural icon.  A popular and once loved public figure.  A great athlete and actor.  By all accounts, he was a successful man who scores wanted to emulate, until he was placed on trial, accused of killing his wife and her friend.  O.J. is Black; his wife and her friend were White. 

I watched the entire trial during this time of “spiritual surgery,” day in, and day out.  I vacillated between my natural inclination to believe O.J. had been “set up,” yet, forcing myself to stay open, to weigh the matter differently, question my attempts to confirm my own biases, whether they were accurate or not.  I fought hard to use the brain that God gave to me and think the matter through critically, weighing all sides of the evidence that was being presented.  If it didn’t fit, I would not commit.  It was tough. It was grueling.  Prepared to just take the easy way out and just take O.J.’s side, I was torn.  I didn’t want to continue watching the trail, but I was compelled to.  All the while having already attempted to render him not guilty because he was the Black guy.  Whether he was guilty or not, I was poised.  At the end of the day, I had to be honest before God with what I had assessed.  My position was nuanced.  Fair and unbiased. 

But like anyone observing society’s response at the time, Black America and White America responded in different ways.  Black people were elated that O.J was acquitted, and White people were furious, even though he had been judged by a jury of this peers, as these things are judged.  Despite what I thought, I was confounded by the fury of White America because O.J. was found to be not guilty by a jury of his peers.  I thought, this is how these matters are judged in America.  What more could we expect?  Why be so furious?  Just move on.  People are found to be not guilty all day, every day.  Move on. 

White folks were angry and Black folks were elated, seemingly justified, as the verdict of not guilty came.  It was notable to everyone observing at the reading of the verdict (the years following, and to the current day).  Having honestly assessed the matter for myself, I marveled at the unwillingness of White folks to accept the verdict.  The hatred and vitriol that ensued not just against O.J., but Black people in general.

So here I was, in the middle of spiritual surgery and a thought occurred to me.  I thought, what if O.J. Simpson surrendered his life to God and began attending a church where White people were?  Would he be accepted by him as their brother?  The climate at the time appeared to me that the answer would be a resounding no.  It appeared to me that O.J. would be rejected and ostracized, as society had made it very clear that White folks would generally not be accepting a not guilty verdict, albeit he was declared not guilty.  And they would not be accepting him, even as God would, if he had repented and turned his life over to Him, for “whatever” sins he had committed in his life.  God would accept him, but it seemed they would not. 

I tell you this story because as people of The Faith or any faith, we have been too often misguided relative to how we view one another concerning the “social construct” of race.  Society has set these controls in place, for power, gain and greed and I am confident that our Maker and Creator is not pleased or validating them. 

Taking sides along racial lines can be fundamentally dishonest.  Lacking in character and integrity.  Bringing hurt, harm and danger to others who may not deserve it.  It feeds deep rooted hatred and tendencies toward violence, misuse and abuse that is not warranted.  It convicts the innocent, while letting the guilty go free, to be justified in their error, and to impose it onto others, repeatedly. 

For example, we all witnessed with our eyes just a few years prior, the brutal beating of Rodney King in the same jurisdiction of the O.J. Simpson trial in Los Angeles California.  We witnessed Mr. King being brutalized and beaten by those we are believed are to protect and serve us: the police.  Although we witnessed this police brutality the officers were also acquitted, yet, held up as innocent, hero’s, socially acceptable; while Mr. King’s character was assassinated through stereotypical means, thus his beating deemed justifiable by many.  Black America and White America expressed opposing views to the matter, and “taking sides,” whether justifiable or not, seemed to dictate this.  It is antithetical to our Maker and creator, who made us all.  It causes pain and misfortune, and it misrepresents the God we declare that we serve and represent.  It is a poor witness to those who observe us.  Our God, our neighbors, those we serve and interact with, our children included.  We cause them to err, and as such, we lead them astray into our same error.  Yet, we are accountable for our own individual actions and as many of us believe, we will all give an account for our actions someday before the God we say we serve. 

There is no value, only loss when we take sides and judge people and matters unfairly and unjustly.  As people of any faith, our attitudes and subsequent actions make or break situations, as well as people, including people we don’t realize we need, and who are in our presence for our good and our gain.  We can never acknowledge this when we take sides. 

Relationships with others is God’s way of assisting us along the way.  Our unjustified attitudes and subsequent actions and can sabotage the lives of others, and in turn sabotage our lives and well-being.  That we are good or bad based on the color of our skin is an unbelievable and ridiculous notion that we have been conditioned with.  Not all good people are White, and not all bad people are non-White.  But in America, we are conditioned to believe this, and this belief is to our own detriment, the detriment of those we influence, our children included. 

As people of faith, we are called to build, not tear down.  When we take sides, we ourselves lose, because the things we need in life come from many sources, people, places, and things.  It’s time for those of us of faith to impact change that represents the good for us all and to do so, we must take courage and a deep breath and begin the practice of discipline, self-reflection, and self-examination to enact the character and integrity in our thinking and actions that reflect our faith.  For many of us, this is our Identity in Christ, which, transcends all other, socially constructed identities.  Socially constructed identities, whether political, racial, social, or political change over time, but our Maker, never changes.